Book of dead 5 explorers

book of dead 5 explorers

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AmazonGlobal Ship Orders Internationally. Beitrags-Navigation Page 1 Page 2 Next page. Shackleton was buried at Grytviken at his wife's request in January after suffering a fatal heart attack on his moored ship aged On Sunday, however, members of both Shackleton's and Wild's families were present at the whaler's graveyard in Grytviken, South Georgia, to see Wild's ashes interred — 72 years after his death — next to Shackleton's grave. Antike ägyptische Tempel mit geheimnisvollen Kammern, in denen traumhafte Schätze und sagenhafter Reichtum locken, sobald der Freispielmodus ausgelöst wird.

By courageously working with the savage natives who begrudgingly respected his noble spirit, he single-handedly turned life around and helped Jamestown lose their reputation as the settlement where everybody went to die.

Like Florida is now. His most well-known story is that of Pocahontas. According to Smith, he was kidnapped by hostile natives who were preparing to kill him when, at the last and most dramatic moment, the chief's daughter, Pocahontas, threw herself in front of Smith at her own peril, saving his life.

She was also a super-model. She goes to a different colony, though; you wouldn't know her. As we're sure you've inferred by now, historians call it a bunch of hogwash.

It also doesn't help his case any that he didn't actually write the tale in detail until about 20 years later, after Pocahontas the only person who could corroborate was dead.

But Smith established himself as a crackerjack liar well before he even got to the New World, with a story that's just as disputed and times more ludicrously badass.

Before he was a colonizer, Smith was a womanizer. Also, a full on pirate. During his "adventures," he claimed he was captured by some Turks, where he immediately did what we'd all do: Also, a Transylvanian prince rewarded him for their severed noggins with the title of "English Gentleman" because Transylvanian princes totally had that kind of influence over England.

Oh, and then Smith was sold into slavery! But he for reals ex-scaped by like, totally seducing his lady master, and then, and then he like, he fought and killed her brother probably with like, this sweet jumpkick!

God he's so cool! The only reason he didn't go to prom a bunch of girls asked him is because he was under arrest for illegal motorcycle racing which he won.

Calvin Klein asked him to be an underwear model but they didn't have ones with a big enough package flap, so he said no.

Marco Polo was a 13th century merchant and explorer who went to China where he invented and refined the popular swimming pool game.

Also, some other things. Mostly pool games, though. In , Marco, along with his father and uncle, went on a year trip to China, Mongolia and the Middle East.

Alone, this isn't that much of a feat everyone kind of already knew China was there; especially the Chinese. The real accomplishment was his book, The Travels of Marco Polo , which was so wildly popular that over copies still exist today.

As it turns out, much like John Smith, Polo's description of his travels may have been just a little too awesome. According to his book, he did a lot of really cool stuff like play the hero in an important battle, become a personal emissary for Kublai Kahn, and even govern a large Chinese city.

And all this stuff was generally accepted, until historians started thinking about it. So when they decided to verify his claims and began looking at the Chinese records, they realized that his story had more holes in it than a teenage girl trying to get her parents to notice her.

Hey, you know what? Chinese people, being one of the most advanced societies on Earth at the time, actually wrote stuff down!

As it turns out, Polo places himself in a battle that ended one or two years before he got there. He also claimed he was the governor of Yang-Chou for three whole years, so surely somebody recorded his name--even once--on a payroll or a check or a diary or In fact, when experts began considering all the utterly Chinese things that Polo didn't mention, like calligraphy, tea, the printing press and the Great fucking Wall , it started to look like Marco Polo never even went to China at all.

He's probably just a guy who heard a lot of stories about the place and put them into a book. Then made himself the main character, a hero, a ruler and a badass, stopping just short of dutifully recording the time he single-handedly beat back the Mongol hordes with his giant, giant dong.

If you lived in the 14th century, you would know who John Mandeville was: For about 35 years Mandeville traveled around Northern Africa and Eastern Europe, but like Polo, Mandeville didn't actually claim to discover anything.

His world-altering contribution is also the book that he wrote. And that book was insanely influential. To the left, to the left There wasn't exactly a New York Times bestseller list back then or even a paltry Amazon ranking , but if surviving copies are any indication of original production, he was much more popular than Marco Polo.

His book still has over twice the amount of surviving copies than Marco Polo's, and it was so respected that even Leonardo Da Vinci studied it, and it's thought to have been the central inspiration for Christopher Columbus' entire career.

Everything in The Travels of John Mandeville was a lie. But they weren't just low-key sexy Indian Princess lies.

No, his fabrications were so multitudinous and hilariously stupid that some less dedicated, lazy hack could have filled this article with them alone.

It's running next week. According to Mandeville, there was an island in the Indian Ocean populated exclusively by tiny people who had tiny holes in their tiny heads where their tiny mouths should have been.

So they had to suck all of their meals through straws and we are not going to make a pygmy blowjob joke here; we're better than that.

Another tribe had mouths, but they didn't use them for eating, because all they needed nutrition-wise was the smell of wild apples. Not the apples themselves, mind you, just the smell.

Without that smell, they would immediately die. Talk about having a weakness: Their kryptonite was not having apples in their faces at all times.

Finally, someone we can take in a fight! Mandeville's lies didn't just make him popular, they changed the course of human history.

According to some historians , he was literally the driving force for Columbus to undertake his own Voyage of Untruths to the New World.

Mandeville's biggest lie of all The book was likely nothing more than stories compiled by some guy, who just needed a main character. How's that for a twist?

He himself was a lie! And he was a killer plant! And he was allergic to water! And it wasn't the 14th century; it was ! Want to write articles like this for Cracked, get internet famous and make cold, hard cash?

Go here and say you want in. No experience necessary, but you must awesome. And stop by our Top Picks Updated 3.

And don't forget to follow us on Facebook and Twitter to get dick jokes sent straight to your news feed. These historical finds don't belong in museums, they belong in horror movies.

Don't make me do this again. Antarctic , South America. Tierra del Fuego and Patagonia. Newfoundland and Labrador , South Pacific.

Black Sea , Near East. Indian Ocean , 1st circumnavigation. Northeast Passage , Novaya Zemlya , Svalbard.

Abu Abdullah Muhammad Ibn Battuta [1] [2]. Fabian Gottlieb von Bellingshausen. Machu Picchu , Peru.

East Coast of the United States. Juan Francisco de la Bodega y Quadra. Oregon Country , Great Basin. Kentucky , Appalachian Mountains. Pierre Savorgnan de Brazza.

Atlantic Ocean , Iceland. Algeria , the Middle East , Egypt. Middle East , Sudan. North Pole , Antarctica.

Southwestern United States , Mexico , Argentina. North American mainland Canada. Antoine de la Mothe Cadillac.

Hermenegildo de Brito Capelo. Central Asia , Mongolia. New Guinea coast, Gulf of Carpentaria. Virginia , Pacific coast of Central and South America.

South America , Asia , South Pacific. Quebec , Great Lakes. Hispaniola , The Antilles. Hispaniola Mainly Dominican Republic.

India , Southeast Asia. Azores , Newfoundland Possible exploration of North America in Greenland , Newfoundland , Massachusetts.

Caribbean , South America. Mexico , Alta California. Possibly the Americas around Possibly mouth of the Amazon River.

Australia , Panama , many other locations. Tibet Traveled to Lhasa. East Indies , Falkland Islands. Southeast Asia , Singapore.

Siberia , Bering Strait 80 years before Vitus Bering. Strait of Juan de Fuca and Strait of Georgia. Vinland Newfoundland and North American mainland Canada.

St Vincent Whitshed Erskine. British - South African. Indian Ocean , attempted circumnavigation of Africa. Turkey , Egypt , Africa , Europe.

Newfoundland and Nova Scotia. Oregon Trail , Sierra Nevada. Marc-Joseph Marion du Fresne. Western Australia , Oceania. Northwest Passage , Canada.

Italian Genoese - Spanish. Trindade and Martim Vaz islands, Indian Ocean. Pedro Sarmiento de Gamboa. Brazil , Paraguay and Bolivia.

Binot Paulmier de Gonneville. Central Asia , Tuva , Far East. Ahmed Pasha Hassanein [6]. Oweinat and the Sahara. Rocky Mountains and the Western United States.

North Canada , Arctic. Mount Everest , Antarctica. Latin America , Siberia. India , Persia and Central Asia.

Newfoundland , Greenland , Alaska. Johann Karl Ehrenfried Kegel. Alaska , Siberia , Yukon and Northern Canada. Khashkhash Ibn Saeed Ibn Aswad. Atlantic Ocean possibly Americas.

Californias , Sonora and Arizona. South America , Namibia. Alaska , Aleutian Islands , Kamchatka Peninsula. Adam Johann von Krusenstern.

West Africa Niger River and Timbuktu. West Africa Niger and Benue Rivers. Australasia , Oceania , Russia. Sir Martin Lindsay, 1st Baronet.

Indian Ocean , Brazil , Uruguay and Argentina. Central Asia and North America. Southern and East Africa. Australia , the Andes and Iceland.

Newfoundland , Cape of Good Hope. Indian Ocean , Diego Garcia. Arctic and Antarctic Oceans.

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Orellana named it that later, because he was the kind of guy you didn't fuck with. Because if you did, he'd convince the entire world that your band of fierce, macho warriors were just angry Greek lesbians.

I can name this river Fagtonia if you want. Are you from America? Do you speak English? If so, you have Sir Walter Raleigh to thank. Doth thou speaketh it?

He was given permission to establish the colony of Roanoke, the first English settlement in the New World. Despite being a hilarious failure , America may have been completely taken over by the Spanish or French without it.

Oh dear God, no! Rolling with the joke, he confirmed de Orellana's fantasy that the forest was populated by one-breasted man-haters, then straight made up his own creatures to get the folks at home super excited about the strange and magical place he hoped to get lots of funding to visit over and over again.

The people he reported finding there were equal parts Marvel Comics' Modok and Clive Barker's Cenobites ; he called them the Ewaipanoma and described them as having "eyes in their shoulders, and their mouths in the middle of their breasts, and that a long train of hair groweth backward between their shoulders.

An example of a modern South American. Notice the existence of a head and absence of horror. On top of headless, chest-faced Humpty Dumpty looking aberrations, Raleigh's account of his expedition was riddled with El Dorado references.

As in, "he was totally there and saw it" kind of references. As in, the kind that might just send royalty into a voyage-funding greed-frenzy.

In the 17th century, John Smith was eager to make a less generic name for himself, so he decided to go to America and colonize in England's name.

Unlike Raleigh, however, Smith was actually successful in creating a permanent settlement in the Americas: It wasn't easy, though.

Four-hundred and thirty-nine of the original settlers died. And even as more settlers came in, they just kept dying.

That's where our hero comes in with all of his heroic heroism: By courageously working with the savage natives who begrudgingly respected his noble spirit, he single-handedly turned life around and helped Jamestown lose their reputation as the settlement where everybody went to die.

Like Florida is now. His most well-known story is that of Pocahontas. According to Smith, he was kidnapped by hostile natives who were preparing to kill him when, at the last and most dramatic moment, the chief's daughter, Pocahontas, threw herself in front of Smith at her own peril, saving his life.

She was also a super-model. She goes to a different colony, though; you wouldn't know her. As we're sure you've inferred by now, historians call it a bunch of hogwash.

It also doesn't help his case any that he didn't actually write the tale in detail until about 20 years later, after Pocahontas the only person who could corroborate was dead.

But Smith established himself as a crackerjack liar well before he even got to the New World, with a story that's just as disputed and times more ludicrously badass.

Before he was a colonizer, Smith was a womanizer. Also, a full on pirate. During his "adventures," he claimed he was captured by some Turks, where he immediately did what we'd all do: Also, a Transylvanian prince rewarded him for their severed noggins with the title of "English Gentleman" because Transylvanian princes totally had that kind of influence over England.

Oh, and then Smith was sold into slavery! But he for reals ex-scaped by like, totally seducing his lady master, and then, and then he like, he fought and killed her brother probably with like, this sweet jumpkick!

God he's so cool! The only reason he didn't go to prom a bunch of girls asked him is because he was under arrest for illegal motorcycle racing which he won.

Calvin Klein asked him to be an underwear model but they didn't have ones with a big enough package flap, so he said no. Marco Polo was a 13th century merchant and explorer who went to China where he invented and refined the popular swimming pool game.

Also, some other things. Mostly pool games, though. In , Marco, along with his father and uncle, went on a year trip to China, Mongolia and the Middle East.

Alone, this isn't that much of a feat everyone kind of already knew China was there; especially the Chinese. The real accomplishment was his book, The Travels of Marco Polo , which was so wildly popular that over copies still exist today.

As it turns out, much like John Smith, Polo's description of his travels may have been just a little too awesome. According to his book, he did a lot of really cool stuff like play the hero in an important battle, become a personal emissary for Kublai Kahn, and even govern a large Chinese city.

And all this stuff was generally accepted, until historians started thinking about it. So when they decided to verify his claims and began looking at the Chinese records, they realized that his story had more holes in it than a teenage girl trying to get her parents to notice her.

Hey, you know what? Chinese people, being one of the most advanced societies on Earth at the time, actually wrote stuff down!

As it turns out, Polo places himself in a battle that ended one or two years before he got there. He also claimed he was the governor of Yang-Chou for three whole years, so surely somebody recorded his name--even once--on a payroll or a check or a diary or In fact, when experts began considering all the utterly Chinese things that Polo didn't mention, like calligraphy, tea, the printing press and the Great fucking Wall , it started to look like Marco Polo never even went to China at all.

He's probably just a guy who heard a lot of stories about the place and put them into a book. Then made himself the main character, a hero, a ruler and a badass, stopping just short of dutifully recording the time he single-handedly beat back the Mongol hordes with his giant, giant dong.

If you lived in the 14th century, you would know who John Mandeville was: For about 35 years Mandeville traveled around Northern Africa and Eastern Europe, but like Polo, Mandeville didn't actually claim to discover anything.

His world-altering contribution is also the book that he wrote. And that book was insanely influential. To the left, to the left There wasn't exactly a New York Times bestseller list back then or even a paltry Amazon ranking , but if surviving copies are any indication of original production, he was much more popular than Marco Polo.

His book still has over twice the amount of surviving copies than Marco Polo's, and it was so respected that even Leonardo Da Vinci studied it, and it's thought to have been the central inspiration for Christopher Columbus' entire career.

Everything in The Travels of John Mandeville was a lie. But they weren't just low-key sexy Indian Princess lies. No, his fabrications were so multitudinous and hilariously stupid that some less dedicated, lazy hack could have filled this article with them alone.

It's running next week. According to Mandeville, there was an island in the Indian Ocean populated exclusively by tiny people who had tiny holes in their tiny heads where their tiny mouths should have been.

By using this site, you agree to the Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. Indus River , Hindu Kush. Sri Lanka , India. Mexico , Guatemala , Honduras.

Gough Island , Namibia. South Pole , Antarctica , Northwest Passage. Antarctic , South America. Tierra del Fuego and Patagonia.

Newfoundland and Labrador , South Pacific. Black Sea , Near East. Indian Ocean , 1st circumnavigation. Northeast Passage , Novaya Zemlya , Svalbard.

Abu Abdullah Muhammad Ibn Battuta [1] [2]. Fabian Gottlieb von Bellingshausen. Machu Picchu , Peru. East Coast of the United States.

Juan Francisco de la Bodega y Quadra. Oregon Country , Great Basin. Kentucky , Appalachian Mountains. Pierre Savorgnan de Brazza.

Atlantic Ocean , Iceland. Algeria , the Middle East , Egypt. Middle East , Sudan. North Pole , Antarctica. Southwestern United States , Mexico , Argentina.

North American mainland Canada. Antoine de la Mothe Cadillac. Hermenegildo de Brito Capelo. Central Asia , Mongolia.

New Guinea coast, Gulf of Carpentaria. Virginia , Pacific coast of Central and South America. South America , Asia , South Pacific. Quebec , Great Lakes.

Hispaniola , The Antilles. Hispaniola Mainly Dominican Republic. India , Southeast Asia. Azores , Newfoundland Possible exploration of North America in Greenland , Newfoundland , Massachusetts.

Caribbean , South America. Mexico , Alta California. Possibly the Americas around Possibly mouth of the Amazon River.

Australia , Panama , many other locations. Tibet Traveled to Lhasa. East Indies , Falkland Islands. Southeast Asia , Singapore. Siberia , Bering Strait 80 years before Vitus Bering.

Strait of Juan de Fuca and Strait of Georgia. Vinland Newfoundland and North American mainland Canada. St Vincent Whitshed Erskine. British - South African.

Indian Ocean , attempted circumnavigation of Africa. Turkey , Egypt , Africa , Europe. Newfoundland and Nova Scotia.

Oregon Trail , Sierra Nevada. Marc-Joseph Marion du Fresne. Western Australia , Oceania. Northwest Passage , Canada. Italian Genoese - Spanish. Trindade and Martim Vaz islands, Indian Ocean.

Pedro Sarmiento de Gamboa. Brazil , Paraguay and Bolivia. Binot Paulmier de Gonneville. Central Asia , Tuva , Far East. Ahmed Pasha Hassanein [6].

Oweinat and the Sahara. Rocky Mountains and the Western United States. North Canada , Arctic. Mount Everest , Antarctica. Latin America , Siberia.

India , Persia and Central Asia. Newfoundland , Greenland , Alaska. Johann Karl Ehrenfried Kegel. Alaska , Siberia , Yukon and Northern Canada.

Khashkhash Ibn Saeed Ibn Aswad. Atlantic Ocean possibly Americas. Californias , Sonora and Arizona. South America , Namibia. Alaska , Aleutian Islands , Kamchatka Peninsula.

Adam Johann von Krusenstern. West Africa Niger River and Timbuktu. West Africa Niger and Benue Rivers. Australasia , Oceania , Russia. Sir Martin Lindsay, 1st Baronet.

Indian Ocean , Brazil , Uruguay and Argentina.

of 5 book explorers dead -

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